In which I seek a Blogging Buddy (a personal ad).

Cover via AmazonDarren Rowse at Problogger did his 31 Days to Build a  Better Blog program a while back.  I'm not doing so well at the 31 days part, but looking at it as 31 steps has been immensely helpful.

Day 15's task is to find a Blog Buddy -- a fellow blogger with about the same level of success as you who will share resources, trade guest posts, give feedback, link each other back and forth, and so on.  Ideally, this partnership would elevate the talent -- and readership -- of both bloggers.

So, my personal ad:

Small- to mid-size blogger seeks same for Blogging Buddy.   Review, writing, and day-in-the-life blogs preferred, (as that's what I do), as well as personals finance, green, happiness, and dog blogs (Which I enjoy reading, but don't really write about as much), but not mandatory, although I prefer your topic be something of which I have at least a vague understanding.  

Buddy should read my blog(s) regularly and allow me to do the same, and comment regularly and expect me to do the same.   Links should be exchanged, particularly when we write things relevant to each other.

I'm willing to guest post for you with sufficient notice, and I would likely be calling on you for the same.  Proper credit and links would be given, of course, and I'd expect the same in return.

Blunt feedback is welcome, although kindly-phrased feedback is even better.   I want someone who will kick me in the pants when I slack off, so while I'm willing to do the same for you, if you're not serious about this, don't bother.

In return, I'm willing to provide the types of feedback requested (although not fine-tooth-comb proofreading or copy-editing -- that's very time-intensive and I charge for that!).  Your blog will end up on my blogrolls on the sidebars fo my blogs (and I'd hope for the same).

Any takers?  Preference would be given to people I know IRL, but it's not a strong preference, and there's no rule saying I -- or you -- can't have more than one Buddy!

Related articles by Zemanta

• The 5 C's of Blogging (What I've Learned Over 6 Years at ProBlogger) (problogger.net)
• Very Personal Ads #79: but not green in a jolly giant way because that would be weird. (fluentself.com)

In which I need help with NaNoWriMo

Image by Swiv via Flickr

Cross-posted from Writers Write

OK, National Novel Writer's Month starts one month from today, and once again I'm going to participate.  This year, I'm actually hoping to finish, even.

But, as usual, I can't decide what to write about.  I'm hoping you can help.  I was going to describe the ideas I had, but in my experience, the more I talk about my writing projects, the less likely I am to finish them.  So, without any actual information, please help me decide:



The poll closes on October 31, so I can jump right in November 1.

Related articles by Zemanta

• How To Get Past The Blank Page By Creating Urgency (problogger.net)
• The Holy Grail to Writing Great Content - Rhetoric (problogger.net)
• Never Eat Alone: The Write Stuff (thesimpledollar.com)
• The Simple Dollar Weekly Roundup: Writing Practice Edition (thesimpledollar.com)

In which selfishness is selfless?

Image via Wikipedia

OK, this is a concept I really struggle with.  I mean, I get the first part, but I have quite a bit of trouble grasping the second:

One of the best ways to make yourself happy is to make other people happy.
One of the best ways to make other people happy is to be happy yourself.

(Gretchen Rubin, The Happiness Project)

I can't quote pinpoint why, but it seems that going out opf my way to make myself and only myself happy is the very definition of selfish.  Seems like it's better to just make other people happy, and if whatever you're doing (whether it's volunteering at a shelter or going with a friend to his/her favorite restaurant) happens to make you happy, too, awesome -- keep doing that and everyone wins. 

Being selfish without considering the happiness of others seems like a surefire way to make others unhappy -- you take advantage of them, or neglect them, and then they're angry and resentful and don't love you anymore. 

Whoa.  Baggage much?

Now maybe this post from Happy Days at the New York Times is on to something:

You can see this as an internal battle between two individuals residing in the same body: one who wants to be thin, sober and chaste, the other who wants to eat, drink and fornicate. It’s the long-term self who is probably reading this now; this is the self that chooses to go to the therapist and read self-help books, working to thwart the short-term self when it comes to life in the presence of temptation.

We shouldn’t underestimate the short-term self, though. It is not necessarily evil and not necessarily stupid. Sometimes the long-term self should stay out of its way.
[...]

This doesn’t mean that we should be indulging in [short-term pleasures]—perhaps there are better things to do today than go to a horror movie. But it does suggest that we should hesitate before dismissing such desires as selfish or irrelevant. Perhaps the good life doesn’t require constant warfare. Perhaps people are better off if their multiple selves establish a truce, respecting one another’s different strengths, and working together to satisfy shared goals.

So, what do you think? Assuming it's true that making yourself happy makes others happy -- and while I don't understand it, I'll work with the premise -- how do you, personally, find a way to make yourself and just yourself happy without making others unhappy in the process?

Related articles by Zemanta

• Review: The Assertiveness Workbook (thesimpledollar.com)
• Review: Escape from Cubicle Nation (thesimpledollar.com)
• How to have more self-discipline (penelopetrunk.com)
• Bring Some Happy Into Your Week! (galadarling.com)

In which I need a duck

I think I might need a duck.

You have no idea what I'm talking about, do you?

Well, I've told you about Havi before, right?  Well, she has a duck.  Selma. Selma helps run the business.  A silent partner, if you like.

Selma is, by all accounts, awesome in many ways.  One of the ways in which she is awesome is that she sort of serves as Havi's gatekeeper.

People who recgonize Selma as awesome are the type of people Havi wants to attract to her blog and her services.  People who think the duck is stupid, childish, creepy, whatever can go elsewhere.

Now, I don't need a literal duck.

But we all have people we get along with better than others, people who can help us and whom we can help.

And Selma, for Havi, is  -- as I interpret it, anyway -- a sort of Shibboleth, a way of identifying who those people are.

Now, we all know there aren't that many people even reading this, so the fact that you're even here probably means you pass.

But I'm open to suggestions for my version of a Duck.

Maybe I should write a personal ad about it...

Thoughts?

Related articles by Zemanta

• Never Eat Alone: Don't Keep Score (thesimpledollar.com)

In which I write a second personal ad

It's time for another personal ad.  Once again, I want to give credit to Havi at The Fluent Self.  Please note: I am not looking for a date, here!

Me: A young adult who missed the horizon-broadening experiences of study-abroad.
You: Broader horizons.

Are you an adventure that will get me off this coast?  Do you scoff at tourist traps because -- let's face it -- they don't really convey current culture?  Can you immerse me in experiences to the point where I'm never quite the same?

I'm especially looking for you if you can account for a brand-new husband.  Invite him along, or alleviate my guilt for leaving him behind, and you get an express pass to the short list.

Expense is acceptable, but I'm willing to spend more if you can be somehow monetized.  Courses and retreats are welcome to apply!

In return, I'm committed to milking the experience for all it has to offer.  No halfway about it, here.  I ask that you keep me reasonably safe, but coddlers need not apply: risk is part of life, and I need some living!

The right situation can find me by way of serendipity or word-of-mouth. Don't just knock, Opportunity: ring the bell!

Related articles by Zemanta

• Integrating Study Abroad Into Your Students' Academic Plans: The Vital Roles Academic Advisers Play (slideshare.net)
• Review: The New Global Student (thesimpledollar.com)
• About (reviewingwhatever.blogspot.com)

In which I dance

Note: Today is my wedding day!  So I figured it would be a good day for this one...

Image via WikipediaWhen I was 3 years old, my parents gave me a choice: did I want to take dance class or tumbling.

No contest. Tumbling.

Except it turns out they misread the brochure and you had to be 4 to take tumbling. So I signed up for dance instead.

I started with little kids' tap and ballet. By the time I quit dance at age 9, I was in advanced classes, had taken up jazz dancing, had quit ballet, and stopped performing in the recitals. I was often the oldest in my class, and if anyone was my age or older, she was taking private lessons and competing. I wasn't. I was in it for the fun, and it just wasn't fun anymore. I was wasting everyone's time if I wasn't going to compete, and everyone made sure I knew it, so I quit.

Fast forward a couple years. First I was awkward at middle school dances, convinced I couldn't dance. Then I realized -- they hated me anyway! I may as well try to have fun.

In high school, I only went to a few "milestone" dances. There was usually no one I liked well enough to ask (or if I asked, the boys in question turned me down) and certainly no one asked me. Why buy an expensive dress I'll never wear again just to sit alone in a corner? There's TGIF to be watched, and even that has to be more fun.

By college, I could usually find a date to a dance -- in fact, at certain points it was the lack of dance that was the problem (I still have the dress I was going to wear to the Senior Ball that never existed. Grrr). But it wasn't real dancing. It was shaking it like a middle-class white girl to fast songs and swaying back and forth with a boy to slow songs. There was no creativity, no choreography, and (on the part of the boy) usually very little ease.

I want to dance for real again. I'm sick of grinding because there's no other option, and I don't want to go back to "Prima ballerina or DIE!" I want to enjoy my body and in the process make it healthier.

Good thing I'm getting married, then, isn't it?

After some debate, we signed up for dance lessons.  We're learning some Fox Trot for our first dance, and a bit of Salsa for when we hit the floor later on.  Our instructor is great, and when we practice on our own, we always end up laughing.

But we're both very self-conscious, albeit in different ways.  When we make mistakes while practicing on our own, we laugh, but if we were to go to a club, would we cringe instead?

I'm finding dancing to be that rare creature, the form of exercise I kind of like.  But lessons are expensive, clubs are crowded, and there's no way I'm competing.

It's frustrating, but I think it's worth it.  I hope so.

For all my bad experiences with it, I miss dancing.

Related articles by Zemanta

• 'So You Think You Can Dance' Star Charged With Multiple Rapes (huffingtonpost.com)

In which I observe Internet Sabbath

Image via Wikipedia

I'm not Jewish, and even by Christian standards I'm not particularly great at following the Fourth Commandment (or Third, if you're Catholic or Lutheran).  I go to church most weeks... unless I'm traveling... which I've been doing a lot lately...  And I'm no good at the "no work" thing.  I'm always *doing* something on Saturdays and Sundays, whether it's work or errands or planning or just Playing Hard. 

Even if I'm physically resting, my mind needs to be occupied, and the only way to get that out of the way is to take a nap (which, to be fair, I do on plenty of Sunday afternoons).  And yes, that occupation of my mind should probably revolve around meditation and prayer... but if you know me, you know why that almost never ends well.  My right and left hand spy on each other[link], and I get Pharisaical about minutia and forget the big picture. 

But I do see the benefits.  And I do see that I frequently spend too much time online, reading trivia and losing track of time and then it's late and I'm tired.

So I have decided that once a week, I will observe Internet Sabbath.

Once a week (I'm looking at Tuesdays, but am willing to change it, even from one week to the next), from when I leave work until I arrive at work the next day, I will not go online.  I will not turn on the computer.  If I have to do either of these things, a) it will be because someone else needs me to do something, and b) I will turn off the computer as soon as I'm done.

My experiments with it have worked really well so far, so I'm thinking this could be a long-term thing.

Who's with me?

In which I help find Don.

Image by wallyg via Flickr

On September 11, 2001, blogger Sarah Bunting had a business meeting in Manhattan.  As she sought safety and made her way toward home, she became "disaster buddies" with a man named Don. To this day, she wants to buy him a beer and thank him for helping her keep it together -- but he is nowhere to be found.

From her site:

What Don Looks/Looked Like
Don is an African-American man. I would estimate his age at between 25 and 35 on that day — probably not younger than that; possibly older, but not much. That means he's 30-ish to 40 now.

Don is between 5'9" and 6' tall, and probably weighed 160-180 pounds. (I suck at estimating men's weights.) In any case, at that time Don had a fit build — not pudgy, not skinny, well put-together.

Don had short hair and a goatee at that time. I do not recall any jewelry; he may have worn a watch, I don't remember. No glasses.

Don had on a grey windowpane-plaid suit and was carrying a black soft-sided briefcase.

Don didn't really resemble anyone famous, except Blair Underwood around the eyes a little bit.

Other Possibly Relevant Facts
Don and I met in the lobby of the Bank of New York building, located roughly at Wall Street and Broadway. We left the bank together at approximately 11 that morning.

Don lived at that time in Jersey City, or thereabouts — he took the ferry to Jersey City to get home, from a slip somewhere around Hester Street on the west side.

Don had come into the city that morning via the PATH train, and had gotten off at the World Trade Center stop. He had come into the city for work, but I don't remember whether his business that day was actually at the WTC complex; I don't believe it was. If he had gotten separated from any work colleagues, he didn't mention it. I don't know what he did for a living, and I don't know if his job was based in Jersey City or in lower Manhattan, but I got the impression that he was in the city for an errand or meeting, and that he didn't regularly commute in

As I said, I don't recall a wedding ring; Don did not mention a wife or any other family at that time as far as I can remember.

Don's birthday is September 11. No idea what year, but based on my estimate of his age it's probably in the late sixties or seventies.

Do you know anything about Don?  I would say let me know (it would be awesome to be the person who found him!), but Operation Find Don is Sarah's baby, so let her know if you have any leads or suggestions -- but be sure to read the comments, because she's looked under a lot of rocks already.

Read more:
At That Time (2010)
Operation Find Don (2009)
OFD goes global (2009) -- Sarah is interviewed on BBC Americana (you may not be able to listen anymore).
OFD on WNYC (2009) -- Sarah is interviewed on The Takeaway.
Angels in America (2008)
Beliefs (2007)
An American Tune (2006)
All Is Not Lost (2005)
Still Here (2004)
Scents Memory (2003)
The Fastest Year (2002)
For Thou Art With Us (2001)
Dispatches (2001)
Stay the Same (2001)

Related articles by Zemanta

• 9/11: Flashbacks from behaving poorly at the World Trade Center (penelopetrunk.com)
• Quickie Round-Up: Depressing Books edition (reviewingwhatever.blogspot.com)

In which I graduate from High School

Image via Wikipedia

My high school had some... issues. Oh, no one shot up the halls or anything. More like a disorganized lack of consistency.

For starters, they changed how class ranking was calculated halfway through my Senior year. Now, the system they changed it to made sense, but it would have been nice if they'd grandfathered current students in -- or at least warned us prior to the last semester we were there.

My overall ranking was #1 in the class before the recalculation. It dropped to #3 after -- nothing to sneeze at, to be sure, but let's be honest. Colleges don't care that you're #3. They don't brag about #3 in their brochures. And as a result, they're not going to be throwing money at #3 to come to their schools.

(To be fair, this wasn't really a danger for me. In addition to my rank and the GPA that came with it, I had a high SAT score and a metric buttload of extracurriculars.)

But the positions of valedictorian and salutatorian were not based strictly on class rankings. Anyone who was eligible -- a certain class rank and/or GPA and/or grade in English class and/or recommended by a teacher -- could submit a speech for evaluation. If a speech was accepted for the next round, the student would get it back with some edits and be invited to audition in front of a panel.

My valedictory speech was, admittedly, not amazing, but my salutatory speech turned out very well. I broke down the lyrics to our alma mater and outlined how they paralleled our high school experience. It was part English essay, part sermon, and more than a little idealistic (far more so than my actual high school experience!), but it was good, and the judges thought so, too. I was named salutatorian.

My peers made no effort to be subtle: I could quite clearly hear their whispers that J should have been named salutatorian, but at least A got to be valedictorian like she deserved (A was ranked #1 in the class after the recalculation, and A and J had been my main competition from the beginning).

I took chorus as a full-credit class all four years of high school -- I was one of the first students (at least since the school was consolidated) to do so. One of my classmates was also taking AP Music Theory, and one of her projects was to compose an arrangement of the Star-Spangled Banner. She and several of her friends were then chosen to sing at graduation. They were not picked based on voice part -- it wasn't like they chose first soprano, second soprano, first alto, and second alto. They were not auditioned. And it was not a matter of choosing all Senior choir members, or all Senior chorus students. I honestly don't know why the teacher allowed it, but I do know if there had been an audition, I would have been notified.

I may have concluded incorrectly, but A was one of the girls who was included. A, who deserved her speaking role far more than I did, according to the other girls chosen to sing. Interesting.

Well, never mind. Come graduation, my speech was met with receptive silence, and hers with restless whispers.

Related articles by Zemanta

• SAT Scores Dip for High School Class of 2009 (abcnews.go.com)
• Review: The New Global Student (thesimpledollar.com)
• Good grammar might derail your career (penelopetrunk.com)
• The Vine: July 8, 2009 (tomatonation.com)

In which I don't argue

I've lately caught myself regularly declaring, "I'm not arguing with you." If you know me in real life, you may have heard me say this to you.

I've isolated three different ways I tend to say it, so I thought it might be nice to translate for you.

I'm not arguing with you. I'm just saying.

Usually, this comes up when you've made a particular point and I agree with it. I'll typically start my rebuttal with something like, "Well, I agree, but I can see their point," and proceed to play Devil's Advocate. This is usually quite interesting for both parties, but it does have the potential to get heated -- which it shouldn't, because a) you don't have to convince me, since we already agree, and b) I don't want to convince you, since we already agree. Therefore: I'm not arguing with you.

You know what? I'm not arguing with you.

We disagree about something trivial. I'm not going to convince you; you're convinced you're right. You're not going to convince me; I'm convinced I'm right. But in real life, it makes absolutely no difference who is right, so why, exactly, are we arguing? I'm not giving in, but if you choose to believe I am, that's fine. I'd rather stop this stupid fight than win it.

I'm not arguing with you. It was just an idea.

I suggested something. You responded, "Well, why would I want to do X?" I don't actually care that it was meant as a rhetorical question; I'll tell you why you might want to do X. But that doesn't mean you have to; I'm just answering your question, not trying to convince or strongarm you. Now that you've listened to my side of it, go ahead and say no. It's fine. It was just an idea, not an argument.

Is there a phrase you find yourself using? What, exactly do you mean by it?

Related articles by Zemanta

• How I Offended Former Australian Cricket Captain Allan Border... and Why that Makes me a Better Blogger Today (problogger.net)

In which I write personal ads.

Image by Getty Images via Daylife

Havi at The Fluent Self has a weekly ritual in which she posts personal ads for the things and people she wants and needs in her life. I love the idea, so I am heretofore going to rip her off.

Prolific communicator with endless opinions seeks same for pen-pal relationship. Let's keep the centuries-old tradition alive and count among the last great correspondents.

Topics unlimited. I am not easily offended, but be sure you are likewise and can take what you give. Sample topics might include books recently read, life lessons learned from daily tasks, updates on major milestones, progress towards goals, and explorations on topics not discussed in polite society.

Regular correspondence is a must, although "regular" may be defined as anything from a short note once a week to an encyclopedic missive twice a year. I tend toward the latter but am flexible. Ideally, holiday and birthday greetings would be included in the correspondence (but would not count toward the "twice a year missive").

The ideal candidate already has my home address, as I do not give it out online. I begin all replies immediately after receiving a letter; long responses will take longer to finish.

No dabblers, please. Apply by post; I have sent letters that have received no response, and would like to weed out such candidates.

Related articles by Zemanta

• The Art of Letter Writing: Stationery (artofmanliness.com)

Something completely different...

Image via Wikipedia

Well, the poll was fun, wasn't it? It completely broke from the original spirit of this blog, but... well, the point was to tell stories about my life to prove that my boring life is not, in fact, boring...

And I sort of ran out of stories. At least, I think I did. If you know of anything that fits the criteria that you think I should write about, let me know.

In the meantime, let's make sure life doesn't get boring. I've got some stuff in mind coming up that also breaks from the original spirit of the blog, but hopefully you'll enjoy it. And, as always, I am open to suggestions!

Related articles by Zemanta

• How to write a blog post people love (penelopetrunk.com)

You chose our wedding song!

Thank you for all your votes.

Billy Joel's "Just the Way You Are" won, if you were wondering. This is a good thing, as we were already practicing it with our dance instructor!

And not to worry if one of your favorites didn't make it. We're going to be forwarding some of these options to our band, so they may make an appearance as well.

Thanks again for playing. You were a HUGE help!

Help us pick our wedding song -- The Big Show!

With commentary by Chris!

And now we are in the finals, featuring two of the strongest vote getters throughout the tournament, Stand by Me and Just the Way You Are. Just the Way You Are is probably a better song to dance to than Stand by Me as it has a slighter better pace than the very slow Stand by Me. However, they are both fun songs with a good message. You cannot go wrong here.

Although my vote is for my man Billy.

Help us pick our wedding song -- Round 4

Cover of The Thing Called Love (Director's Cut)

It's the Final Four! Just as a disclaimer, there is a chance we'll end up going with a finalist instead of the actual winner, but trust me, you guys are huge help.

Oh, another tough one.  I love I Believe in a Thing Called Love -- and based on the results of previous rounds, you guys do, too.  But Just the Way You Are has been really strong throughout as well, and, as much as I hate to say it, is probably the more appropriate song.  I'd have to lean toward Billy Joel, myself.  But you're not me, so we'll see where this goes.



Stand by Me enters the Final Four as the leading vote-getter through three rounds with 20 votes. It has won by at least 4 votes in every round, including by 5 in the last two rounds, one of which featured the #1 seed. Stand by Me is a strong, fun, and solid song, and is worthy of being here.

Hanging by a Moment is #3 seeded song, and the only truly seeded song to make the finally 4. However, it has squeaked by the last two votes with 1 point victories (including one which was at first a tie). This is also a very strong song and worthy of being here. Who wins, the highest seeded song left or the leading vote getter?

Help Us Pick our Wedding Song -- Round 3!

OK, now onto the Elite 8, with special commentary by Chris!

Stand by Me pulled an incredible upset over the #1 seeded Let Love Rule; can this song be the Cinderella (although it is only against the #13 seed)? Stand by Me is short, more-or-less danceable and lyrically suitable, as the song speaks about standing with the person no matter what. It can be best described by us as non-objectionable and really neutral (could be played for a couple or mother son, etc.)

Can't Take My Eyes Off Of You may well be experiencing a resurgence thanks to hit Broadway musical Jersey Boys. It's a classic, but not necessarily an automatic go-to, which is nice. And there's some really danceable moments. The biggest problem may be that it talks about a kind of love at first sight feeling (which we do not really believe in), as well as lust. I mean, what kind of marriage would function when the spouse cannot take his eyes off the other spouse? Also what happens when the spouses age? Can this song win against the higher seeded giant killer, Stand by Me?


Here Comes the Sun has a very nice sense of "things are going to be OK from here on out." Although that can make it seem like it was not before (so the only reason things are OK is because we will be married? Maybe appropriate given our current long distance status, but is it the right message?) It's danceable and cheerful and appropriate but not entirely conventional. It should also appeal with everyone given that it is the Beatles. This song has been popular in the voting with 13 votes in favor of it in the first two rounds (although it faced the 23 and 31 seeds).

I Believe in a Thing Called Love is not even remotely grandmother-friendly. Well, not our grandmothers. That's not a deal-breaker, mind you, but as completely awesome the song is, it's pretty heavy on the sexuality. It has some of the same problems Can't Take My Eyes Off You did, but it does talk about being together always, which is the sweet side of this song. This song is the lowest seed left (other than the Lovely Day in the tiebreaker) and barely made it out of round 1; it will be tough to get past the Beatles with its borderline inappropriate lyrics.



Just the Way You Are is a danceable song (though quite slow), and has more relateable lyrics, and seems the perfect message of marriage -- maybe not the most complementary lyrics (particularly "I don't want clever conversation. I never want to work that hard"), but that's the point. Billy Joel is on the older side but there are older songs left.

They Stood Up For Love is a great song. It's very inspirational, very pro-love on a general basis -- though the first couple of lines are not grandmother-friendly (however, the rest of the song is). This is the second highest seed left -- the highest if you don't count "Hanging by a Moment" in the tiebreaker round -- and has fared well in each round. I expect this to survive again.


I'm Gonna Be (500 Miles) is a strange choice (which tends to be a good thing), and it's still quite lyrically appropriate. Added bonus? It featured prominently in an episode of How I Met Your Mother we love. The #18 seed had a strong victory in week 1 and just knocked off the #7 seed. Now it will face a strong challenge vs. the #3 seed. I would add as Laura did that is song is strange but it has nice lyrics and it is probably danceable.

Hanging by a Moment is nice because it's generationally appropriate. In addition to being romantic and danceable, it was at its peak popularity just as we were coming of age. That's sort of the problem, though. Baggage. Personally, I like this song and I feel it is incredibly romantic and sweet, though it could be considered cliched. This song is the highest seed left but it is coming off a close call against Lovely Day. With They Stood Up for Love losing, this could be the only truly seeded team to make the Final 4.

Related articles by Zemanta

• N Cereal AA: The Sweet 16 (tomatonation.com)

Help us pick our wedding song -- Round Two (part 2)!

Don't forget to check back on previous polls that haven't closed yet!

In Your Eyes (Video) (Lyrics) is a great song, one I really like, that would make for a pretty dance. A really long, pretty, slow dance. The short version (!!!) clocks in at about 5 1/2 minutes.

Here Comes the Sun (Video) (Lyrics) has a very nice sense of "things are going to be ok from here on out." It's danceable and cheerful and appropriate but not entirely conventional.

While In Yours Eyes is arguably more romantic, it's unarguably really long. Therefore, Prediction: Here Comes the Sun.





I'm a Believer (Video) (Lyrics) is classic Monkees -- cute, goofy, a little weird, and insanely danceable. But... it's the Monkees. Debateably the prototypical boyband. Boyband, people.

I Believe in a Thing Called Love (Video) (Lyrics) is not even remotely grandmother-friendly. Well, not our grandmothers. That's not a deal-breaker, mind you, but as completely awesome the song is, it's pretty heavy on the sexuality.

Well, this is a fun match-up. The songs really couldn't be more different, despite the fact that they're essentially about the same thing. If we're going conventional, you have to go Monkees. If we're going unconventional, you have to go Darkness. Ths is another one where I won't complain if I'm wrong, but Prediction: I Believe in a Thing Called Love.





They Stood Up For Love (Video) (Lyrics) is a great song. It's very inspirational, very pro-love on a general basis -- not perfectly grandmother-friendly, if you look at the first line, though.

You're Still the One (Video) (Lyrics) is a good song. It's a crossover from the realm of country music, which is a pro for a lot of people, though not necessarily for us. I've actually heard punk covers of it that, while silly, were pretty good. The lyrics can't get much better, either.

You know, if I could talk the band into playng one of those punk covers, it wouldn't be a contest. I don't think they will, though, so Prediction: They Stood Up for Love



Just the Way You Are (Video) (Lyrics) is more danceable I think, and has more relateable lyrics -- maybe not the most complementary lyrics, but that's the point. Billy Joel belongs more to our parents' generation than ours, but there's nothing wrong with catering to the parents.

I Just Called to Say I Love You (Video) (Lyrics) is another one of those songs will make people smile when they realize that, while it may never have occurred to them, it's really a good choice. Plus it's a bit more upbeat (and a bit less possessive, let's be honest).

Stevie Wonder is a bit more optimisitc than Billy Joel. Prediction: I Just Called to Say I Love You.

Help us pick our wedding song -- Round 2!

And now, Round 2!

Let Love Rule (Video) (Lyrics) is our top seed because it is one of the four songs Chris and I originally started with -- and when we each individually ranked those four songs, this one came up the best. It dominated in Round 1 with a good two-thirds of the vote, but will it maintain supremacy -- especially since it's now the longest song on the list?

Stand By Me (Video) (Lyrics) is short, more-or-less danceable, and lyrically suitable. And it completely slaughtered the competition -- only one person voted for Your Song (sorry, one person!). Even so, it still just doesn't jump out and bite me on the face.

Let Love Rule might be longer, but it might also stronger.  We're getting into tough calls already, and I don't know if you can go wrong on this one.  Still, Prediction: Let Love Rule.





Bridge Over Troubled Water (Video) (Lyrics) is a beautiful song with amazing lyrics and would make for a pretty easy slow dance.

Can't Take My Eyes Off Of You (Video) (Lyrics) may well be experiencing a resurgence thanks to hit Broadway musical Jersey Boys. It's a classic, but not necessarily an automatic go-to, which is nice. And there's some really danceable moments.

Chris has been known to get a little twitchy around musicals, so the Broadway aspect has the potential to be a deal-breaker. This is another race where you really can't go wrong, so while Prediction: Bridge Over Troubled Water, I wouldn't object to being wrong, either.






Hanging By a Moment (Video) (Lyrics) is nice because it's generationally appropriate. In addition to being romantic and danceable, it was at its peak popularity just as we were coming of age. That's sort of the problem, though. Baggage.

Lovely Day (Video) (Lyrics) has a more general title, but the song is more romantic. It's a solid song, a strong contender but nothing special.

In conclusion, Lovely Day is safer, but less special.  Prediction: Hanging By a Moment




You're My Best Friend (Video) (Lyrics) is a cheerful, danceable, fun song, immediately recognizable but still fairly unconventional, and touches on an aspect of romantic relationships that tends to get overlooked.

I'm Gonna Be (500 Miles) (Video) (Lyrics) is a strange choice (which, as you may have picked up by now, tends to be a good thing), and it's still quite lyrically appropriate. Added bonus? It featured prominently in an episode of How I Met Your Mother, a show Chris and I both love.


See the full bracket here.

Help pick our wedding song -- Round 1 (part two)!

So hopefully by now you've voted in the first 8 games -- if not, go do it now  -- most of the polls are still open!

Remember: you have 1 week from when the poll goes live to vote, but not every poll is going up at the same time, so check in regularly.

And here is the second half of Round 1!

(Note: if you see a poll from the first half of Round 1, that means the polls closed with a tie, or an insanely low vote count -- so if you haven't voted on that one, go ahead and break that tie!)

Iris (Video) (Lyrics) is a nice song, danceable fairly appropriate generationally, with nice lyrics... and I feel like I'm trying to convince myself. It works really well on paper, doesn't it? Leave a comment and convince me...

I'm Gonna Be (500 Miles) (Video) (Lyrics) is a much stranger choice (which, as you may have picked up by now, tends to be a good thing), and it's still quite lyrically appropriate. It's far from timely, but dancing shouldn't be too hard to figure out. Added bonus? It featured prominently in an episode of How I Met Your Mother, a show Chris and I both love.

Feel free to prove me wrong, but Prediction: I'm Gonna Be.


Here Comes the Sun (Video) (Lyrics) has a very nice sense of "things are going to be ok from here on out." It's danceable and cheerful and appropriate but not entirely conventional.

All You Need Is Love (Video) (Lyrics) is more of the classic wedding song, which has both its pros and its cons. It's probably easy to dance to, but I don't know if it's as much fun to dance to.

In the battle of the Beatles, less conventional and more danceable make the decision. Prediction: Here Comes the Sun.



I'm a Believer (Video) (Lyrics) is classic Monkees -- cute, goofy, a little weird, and insanely danceable. But... it's the Monkees. Debateably the prototypical boyband. Boyband, people.

Truly Madly Deeply (Video) (Lyrics) is more a traditional-syle love song, and it's far more generationally appropriate, but to me it says less "Today I marry my friend" and more "Sex! Yay! Oh, and romance too."

If it's good enough for Shrek, it's good enough for me. Prediction: I'm a Believer.








Unforgettable (Video) (Lyrics) is a very sweet, classic, romantic song, easy to dance to. But all those aspects make it a little cliched. Also? She's singing with her dead father.

I Believe in a Thing Called Love (Video) (Lyrics) is not even remotely grandmother-friendly. Well, not our grandmothers. That's not a deal-breaker, mind you, but as completely awesome the song is, it's pretty heavy on the sexuality.

This is a sort of an apples vs oranges game, and I would not be at all surprised if I was wrong, but Prediction: I Believe in a Thing Called Love.






They Stood Up For Love (Video) (Lyrics) is a great song. It's very inspirational, very pro-love on a general basis -- not perfectly grandmother-friendly, if you look at the first line, though.

Maybe I'm Amazed (Video) (Lyrics) is also a very nice song. It's too slow to do much with, but lyrically it's just amazing.

Still, dancing counts. Prediction: They Stood Up For Love.





You're Still the One (Video) (Lyrics) is a good song. It's a crossover from the realm of coutrny music, which is a pro for a lot of people, though not necessarily for us. I've actually heard punk covers of it that, while silly, were pretty good. The lyrics can't get much better, either.

Best of My Love (Video) (Lyrics) is an older, faster song that I think is likely more danceable. The lyrics might not be quite as good, but they're still good, and the music is more fun. Plus, the fact that it's a classic means it's likely falling out of use among people our age, making it less conventional.

In this case, uniqueness trumps generational propriety. Prediction: Best of My Love






At Last (Video)(Lyrics) is an excellent song for the first song at a wedding. It's short, pretty, meaningful, and easy to dance to. That makes it a big, giant cliche. Also? The President and First Lady danced to it at the Inaugural Ball, which means it's likely even more of a cliche at weddings.

I Just Called to Say I Love You (Video) (Lyrics) is another one of those songs that may not be quite as perfect on a technical level, but will make people smile when they realize that, while it may never have occurred to them, it's really a good choice. Plus it's a bit more upbeat (and a bit less possessive, let's be honest).

You should be able to tell from this breakdown how I'm leaning, although if the voting audience proves me wrong, I will not be surprised. Even so, Prediction: I Just Called to Say I Love You.




Unchained Melody (Video) (Lyrics) is probably best known for being that song from Ghost. It's a lovely, romantic song, if maybe a tiny bit on the slow side.

Just the Way You Are (Video) (Lyrics) is more danceable I think, and has more relateable lyrics -- maybe not the most complementary lyrics, but that's the point. Billy Joel belongs more to our parents' generation than ours, but there's nothing wrong with catering to the parents.

You can't really go wrong on this one, but Prediction: Just the Way You Are.



View the full bracket here.

Help pick our wedding song -- Round 1 (part one)!

Let's get this party started! Remember: you have 1 week from when the poll goes live to vote, but not every poll is going up at the same time, so check in regularly.

Let Love Rule (Video) (Lyrics) is our top seed because it is one of the four songs Chris and I originally started with -- and when we each individually ranked those four songs, this one came up the best. Still, just because it was the best before we came up with 28 other ideas doesn't mean that it necessarily will or should maintain supremacy -- especially since it's the second-longest song on the list.

All I Want Is You (Video) (Lyrics) is a gorgeous song, with a great set of lyrics, but not only is it the longest song on the list at 6 1/2 minutes, it's also reallllly slow.

Between the two, we like Let Love Rule better, it's shorter by about 45 seconds, and its tempo is a bit more danceable. Prediction: Let Love Rule. Tell us why you agree or disagree in the comments below.



Stand By Me (Video) (Lyrics) is short, more-or-less danceable, and lyrically suitable. And it shares a title with an 80s movie about a little kid dying. That's the biggest objection, really, but as good as the song is, it just doesn't jump out and bite me on the face.

Your Song (Video) (Lyrics) is a good one, with... pretty much the same tempo as Stand By Me, thinking about it. It's longer, of course, which is always a factor, plus... the bit about the guy can't even remember what color his beloved's eyes are? I expect better of Chris...

Your Song is undeniably more romantic, but the combination of brevity and less conventionality gives Stand By Me more of a sense of "Oh, I never thought of that! Oh, it's over! How nice!" So, Prediction: Stand By Me. Tell us why you agree or disagree in the comments below.


Ain't No Mountain High Enough (Video) (Lyrics) is another classic that doesn't run too long. OK, yes, I do associate it with the closing credits of Sister Act, but that's not a deal-breaker. There are a lot of different versions out there, with different levels of danceability -- I have the original here, but we'd have to see how the band does it.

Bridge Over Troubled Water (Video) (Lyrics) is a beautiful song with amazing lyrics and would make for a pretty easy slow dance.

I expect this one to be kind of close, and I really don't expect either one to go beyond the next round. In fact, if I don't used Bridge Over Troubled Waters for this dance, I may see about using it for the father-daughter dance (unless you have a better idea, Dad. Um, assuming you're actually reading this). Prediction: Bridge Over Troubled Water.



Can't Take My Eyes Off Of You (Video) (Lyrics) may well be experiencing a resurgence thanks to hit Broadway musical Jersey Boys. It's a classic, but not necessairly an automatic go-to, which is nice. And there's some really danceable moments.

All My Life (Video) (Lyrics) is, for all practical purposes, a good choice. R&B tends to be both romantic and danceable, and while it had its moments as the giant cliche song, I think that moment has passed, making the song a bit more unusual again. That having been said... Meh.

All My Life should be the perfect choice, and may well win, but it just doesn't grab me. Frankie Valli has been grabbing people for generations. Prediction: Can't Take My Eyes Off Of You.



Hanging By a Moment (Video) (Lyrics) is nice because it's generationally appropriate. In addition to being romantic and danceable, it was at its peak popularity just as we were coming of age. That's sort of the problem, though. Not only is it a top choice for pretty much everyone our age, it also carries some emotional baggage: an ex of mine was a huge fan of Lifehouse for all romantic puproses, so while that doesn't ruin the song for everyday use, it kind of taints it for my wedding, you know?

Here and Now (Video) (Lyrics) is pretty much about getting married; you can't get any more appropriate than that, but you can't get much more cliched lyrically, either. It's a cliche for a reason, though -- lively, danceable, and while still relatively new in the grand scheme, primed to become a true classic.

Generational ties carry a lot of weight. Prediction: Hanging By a Moment


What the World Needs Now Is Love (Video -- I couldn't find the original on YouTube) (Lyrics) is one of those songs that's a love song on a more global scale, in case you couldn't tell from the title. It's a pretty little number with a good message.

Lovely Day (Video) (Lyrics) has a more general title, but the song is more romantic. It's a solid song, a strong contender but nothing special.

So really, the question is do you want to be reminded of a perfume commercial or a Fresh Prince and DJ Jazzy Jeff song? Prediction: Lovely Day.


You're My Best Friend (Video) (Lyrics) is a cheerful, danceable, fun song, immediately recognizable but still fairly unconventional, and touches on an aspect of romantic relationships that tends to get overlooked.

Tonight, Tonight (Video) (Lyrics) is more generationally appropriate, and probably even less conventional. It may be a bit hard to dance to at points.

I could see this one being a really close race, and you can't go wrong, but Prediction: You're My Best Friend.



Hey Leonardo (She Likes Me for Me) (Video) (Lyrics) is a great, fun, compeltely unconventional song. The lyrics are great, and most people seem to forget this song existed until they hear it, at which point it hits them and they smile. Problem? We have no idea how we would dance to it. Personally, I think we can work with that.

In Your Eyes (Video) (Lyrics) is a great song, one Ir eally like, that would make for a pretty dance. A really long, pretty, slow dance. The short version (!!!) clocks in at about 5 1/2 minutes.

Unless the band has a 2-minute version they specialize in, I'd be afraid our guests would use In Your Eyes as an excuse for a bathroom break. Prediction: Hey Leonardo.

Update: Huh.  Looks like I accidentally wrote commentary for this match-up twice!  Well, no sense in letting it go to waste...

I love Hey Leonardo. It's a fun, cute, goofy song about how this guy is so great, but his girlfriend doesn't love him because he's great -- she loves him because he's him, which he doesn't udnerstand even though he feels the same way about her. Perfect, right? Well.... except it might take some work to figure out how to dance to it. And that's kind of important for a first dance, you know?


In Your Eyes is an immensely romantic song, and it is, in fact, easy to dance to. For about ten years. Even the short version clocks in a 5 1/2 minutes, and since it's so romantic, it shows up a lot. I'd be a little concerned that long+cliched=bathroom break for our guests.

This one is tough to predict. I think the average person would opt for In Your Eyes at first glance, but I think those who know Hey Leonardo and know us would go for that. Since I suspect most people who read this blog are my friends and family, Prediction: Hey Leonardo. Tell us why you agree or disagree in the comments below.





See the full bracket here.