In which I get ready for another year (28th birthday edition)

Image via WikipediaSo I didn't do all 28 things before I turned 28.  OK.  So I need to take what I learned from that and maybe adjust my ambitions.  Reading 10 books off the reading list is too much of a gimme.  Achieving tons of travel goals is too tough.  And super-ambitious projects... they really count as more than one task, don't they? So let's find some middle ground. Especially when I've been lagging on even getting the posted.


Here is my list of 29 things I want to do before I turn 29:

1. Visit one city I've never been to before.  This might be a gimme, but in a way that might not really count, so I'm hoping, but not insisting, that I do one other than the "gimme" city.  I'll explain when it happens. 
2. Take professional driving instruction.
3. Pass the road test and get my drivers license.  I've been resolving to do this for years.  I no longer have an excuse.
4. Finish Age of Federalism.  I've been picking at it for a while now.  It's very interesting, but extremely slow going. 
5. Re-watch  Lost Season 1. 
6. Blog each episode as I watch them with my retrospective opinions. I've been wanting to do this since the series finale.
7. Write an essay, article, short story, or poem.
8. Edit it to my satisfaction.
9. Research markets.
10. Submit my piece for publication.
11. Figure out what kinds of blog posts readers like best.
12. Collect my best of those types of posts.
13. Add extra "bonus" material.
14. Edit the collection.
15. Convert to PDF.
16. Make available on my blog(s).
17. Get my mother's brownie recipe.
18. Perfect it.
19. Personalize it.
20. Research my favorite bands' tour schedules
21. Sync their calendar with my own.
22. Buy tickets!
23. Research companies to find stock I feel good about and can afford.
24. Buy low!
25. Lose 10 pounds
26. Keep it off at least until my 29th birthday.
27. Write and send 10 snail-mail letters
28. Get back into private, dead-tree journaling
29. Meet my personal "books read" goal for the year.

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In which I guest post

About food this time!

I've been getting requests for my baked brie recipe, so I submitted it to my favorite food blog, Foodwhirl.com.

And if you want it, check out the article.

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In which I try to understand housepride.

I don't take much pride in my home.

I don't take shame in it.  In fact, I take a lot of comfort in it.  I quite like it, even.  But I just don't see a reason to take pride in it.

I associate pride with identity.  And if you take pride in your dwelling, then either you associate that part of your identity with your possessions (which, YMMV, but I find that slightly problematic), or you associate it with achievement.

And, OK, the achievement part I get. 

If you saved your pennies and paid for a huge part of your house in cash and are in a place to pay off your mortgage within ten years, that's a huge accomplishment and you should totally be proud of it. 

But I just pay rent every month.  That's, like, the bare minimum required, isn't it?  It's like feeding your kids: if you don't do it, you get the kids (or apartment) taken away, but if you do, that in and of itself doesn't make you parent (or tenant or homeowner) of the year.

If you have made your home as green as is reasonably possible and strive to go even farther, that's awesome! You should be proud! It's a major undertaking, even a major lifestyle change.  Nothing easy there.

I try to fit green in.  We're switching to CFLs; we recycle.  But as much as I'd like to, composting isn't practical right now.  We haven't gotten the smart surge protectors yet.  We use plastic.  We use chemicals.  It works for us, and I'm not ashamed of it, but it's not much to talk about.

If you've taken a total fixer-upper and DIY'ed it into submission, good for you! Show us the house porn! The Mythbusters have proven that it's really hard to polish a turd, so if you've ended up with a gem, you deserve to crow about it.

But we have very few repairs that need to be done, and most of them we're not allowed to do ourselves.  Asking the landlord to fix the toilet is hardly the hallmark of the capable handyman (however, I do think I get points for renting from the capable handyman...).

If you've decorated the home, or even a single room, to reflect who you are, sweet! The Dr. Seuss nursery, the seahorse bathroom, the bohemian-chic living room, awesome. It takes creativity and vision and not a little time and patience to pull that off, to say nothing of the maintenance.

But take our living room.  The sofa/loveseat combo from Macy's: comfortable, sturdy, affordable, neutral-colored.  The TV stand from JCPenny: comfortable, sturdy, affordable, neutral-colored.  We've yet to find a coffee table that is comfortable, sturdy, affordable, and neutral-colored, but the TV trays we use instead?  The ones we got from Bed Bath and Beyond?  Say it with me now: comfortable, sturdy, affordable, neutral-colored.  Boring.  Heh, I guess my living room does reflect my life (see also: the entire point of this blog[link]).

And if you've made your place into the gathering space, good for you! Maybe you have the ultimate gaming table or the ultimate kitchen table. The dinner parties, birthday parties, potlucks, and game nights can make a community.  That is truly something to be proud of.

Not so easy in a small Queens apartment.  Certainly there's no room for major events; even board games and potlucks with small groups would be pretty tight.  And it doesn't happen anyway.  95% of the time, it's easier on everyone if Chris and I go out than if other people come over.  Even when we've invited people, we usually are told, "Nah, let's just meet in the city." Fine by me; I love the city.  Even so.  It's just easier for other people for them not to come over.  And there's not a lot of point in keeping the home ready for last-minute guests when we will never have any.

So I quite like my apartment.  But I don't see much reason to be proud of it.  And I don't see why it should be a problem that I'm OK with that.

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In which I evaluate the past week.

I recently read this article at Marc and Angel Hack Life about the end-of-week review.  I figured I'd give it a try, and if it works, great -- maybe I can use it to increase my blogging production!

So:

What did I learn last week?

At a certain point, it ceases to be sangria and becomes marinated fruit salad.  This, in itself, is not a bad thing.

What was my greatest accomplishment over the past week

After eating at one of our favorite restaurants, Chris mentioned to me that it would be great if we found a similar recipe.  I found such a recipe provided by that restaurant!

Which moment from last week was the most memorable and why?

Going to the gym when it was crowded and having to stand around "hot" while waiting my turn to cool down.  I ended up just walking home the long way, and it really annoyed me.  I won't be going at that particular time again.

What’s the #1 thing I need to accomplish this week?

 Emailing our videographer with our music selection.  I've been putting it off for way too long.

What can I do right now to make the week less stressful?  

I'm doing it!  That is, I'm working on my blog so it's one less thing to worry about.  I always feel like it's a luxury I have no right to work on, because other things are more important... but then the blogging doesn't get done at all.
 

What have I struggled with in the past that might also affect the upcoming week?

 
That's private.  Suffice to say I'm keeping it in mind.

What was last week’s biggest time sink?

The new TV! I've already been avoiding it.  

Am I carrying any excess baggage into the week that can be dropped?

Sure -- there's a bookcase needs building that I should have put together last week.  When it's done, we'll have one fewer box and a heck of a lot fewer piles. 

What have I been avoiding that needs to get done?

Noted and on my to-do list.  I've mentioned two already.  

What opportunities are still on the table?

I've bookmarked several interesting jobs.  I should apply to at least one this week. 

Is there anyone I’ve been meaning to talk to?

Yeah, but I suck at it.  How can you hold an interesting conversation with an old friend when the two of you no loner have a shared frame of reference? 

Is there anyone that deserves a big ‘Thank You’?

Chris, for working so hard. 

How can I help someone else this coming week?

It's a surprise. 

What are my top 3 goals for the next 3 years?

Do work that is meaningful and/or enjoyable, cultivate a social life, and travel more. 

Have any of my recent actions moved me closer to my goals?

Not especially, and in at least one case, not for want of trying.

What’s the next step for each goal?>

Keep applying for jobs, attend local events, save money. 

What am I looking forward to during the upcoming week? The Lost premier!  OK, it's not really related to my goals, but I'm really looking forward to it!

What are my fears?

 Nothing I'm going to share publicly at this point.  Well, heights and clowns, but you know...  

What am I most grateful for?

Loved ones, health, and written language. 

If I knew I only had one week to live, who would I spend my time with?

Chris, my family, and as many of my friends as I could squeeze in,


So... would you be interested in seeing more of this?  Are you willing to do your own?

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In which I observe Internet Sabbath

Image via Wikipedia

I'm not Jewish, and even by Christian standards I'm not particularly great at following the Fourth Commandment (or Third, if you're Catholic or Lutheran).  I go to church most weeks... unless I'm traveling... which I've been doing a lot lately...  And I'm no good at the "no work" thing.  I'm always *doing* something on Saturdays and Sundays, whether it's work or errands or planning or just Playing Hard. 

Even if I'm physically resting, my mind needs to be occupied, and the only way to get that out of the way is to take a nap (which, to be fair, I do on plenty of Sunday afternoons).  And yes, that occupation of my mind should probably revolve around meditation and prayer... but if you know me, you know why that almost never ends well.  My right and left hand spy on each other[link], and I get Pharisaical about minutia and forget the big picture. 

But I do see the benefits.  And I do see that I frequently spend too much time online, reading trivia and losing track of time and then it's late and I'm tired.

So I have decided that once a week, I will observe Internet Sabbath.

Once a week (I'm looking at Tuesdays, but am willing to change it, even from one week to the next), from when I leave work until I arrive at work the next day, I will not go online.  I will not turn on the computer.  If I have to do either of these things, a) it will be because someone else needs me to do something, and b) I will turn off the computer as soon as I'm done.

My experiments with it have worked really well so far, so I'm thinking this could be a long-term thing.

Who's with me?

In which I don't argue

I've lately caught myself regularly declaring, "I'm not arguing with you." If you know me in real life, you may have heard me say this to you.

I've isolated three different ways I tend to say it, so I thought it might be nice to translate for you.

I'm not arguing with you. I'm just saying.

Usually, this comes up when you've made a particular point and I agree with it. I'll typically start my rebuttal with something like, "Well, I agree, but I can see their point," and proceed to play Devil's Advocate. This is usually quite interesting for both parties, but it does have the potential to get heated -- which it shouldn't, because a) you don't have to convince me, since we already agree, and b) I don't want to convince you, since we already agree. Therefore: I'm not arguing with you.

You know what? I'm not arguing with you.

We disagree about something trivial. I'm not going to convince you; you're convinced you're right. You're not going to convince me; I'm convinced I'm right. But in real life, it makes absolutely no difference who is right, so why, exactly, are we arguing? I'm not giving in, but if you choose to believe I am, that's fine. I'd rather stop this stupid fight than win it.

I'm not arguing with you. It was just an idea.

I suggested something. You responded, "Well, why would I want to do X?" I don't actually care that it was meant as a rhetorical question; I'll tell you why you might want to do X. But that doesn't mean you have to; I'm just answering your question, not trying to convince or strongarm you. Now that you've listened to my side of it, go ahead and say no. It's fine. It was just an idea, not an argument.

Is there a phrase you find yourself using? What, exactly do you mean by it?

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In which I ring in the New Year

Image by Kramchang via FlickrReally, a conversation I had with a friend of mine on AIM says it all...

Me: [realization] Awww crap.

Friend: ?

Me: I didn't check *any* items off my things-to-do-before-I-die list this year.

Me: I had given up on most other resolutions, but I was really hoping for that one.

Friend: Oh.

Me: So last night, I was like, "OK, so do I want to ring in the New Year with Ryan Seacrest, or with Carson Daly"?

Me: The answer, of course, was, "No."

Me: So my parents and I watched my new Dr. Horrible DVD, including special features and about half of "Commentary! The Musical."

Friend: cool

Friend: I did neither -- I waited until 11:58 to put on Channel 6 to catch Dick Clark one last time.

Friend: I had a migraine, actually.

Friend: First time I've gotten one.

Me: I was mildly annoyed at the ball drop.

Friend: Yeah, Clark was a second off the countdown.

Me: Waterford was all "Every year will be a unique ball with a unique pattern," and, dude: the ball was exactly the same as last years

Me: I saw last year's up close, and no joke, they could have ripped that thing out of Macy's and reused it.

Friend: "We need to figure out how to fix the city's budget deficit."

Friend: "How about reusing the ball?  That saves 5 million right there."

Me: Oh, at least.

Me: But this is Waterford.  They had those things ready to go in '88.

Me: Just sitting there, being pretty and waiting for the appropriate LED technology to be invented.

Friend: ...Why?

Me: Hyperbole, dude.

Friend: Not with Waterford.

Friend: They do pull that sort of [bleep].

Me: Point is, W got a contract, and you know they were all over that [bleep].

Me: So even if the city decided to reuse, they' d still have to foot the bill.

Me: Ergo: two matching balls.  Which.... yeah. 

The good

I know better than to do New Year's Resolutions.  This year, I'm setting monthly goals.  It just feels more realistic.  Wish me luck!  (Oh, and remind me to share my things-to-do-before-I-die list one of these days...)

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In which I make a suggestion

Image by Brian Hathcock via FlickrAn open letter to Barack Obama

Dear Mr. President-Elect:

First of all, I would like to congratulate you on your election.  You're surely aware that the eyes of the nation, and the world, are on you, and my prayers are with you and your family as you take this next, monumental step.

I was pleased to catch part of your press conference this afternoon, particularly when you mentioned the dog your family will soon be adopting.  I took especial interest in the two conflicting factors your family is considering in choosing your new family member: the dog being hypo-allergenic, and the dog coming from a shelter.  Both are very important, and I salute your decision to give a home to an animal that truly needs it.

I would like to suggest that the two factors are not mutually exclusive; far from it, in fact.  Do you have a particular breed in mind?  Airedale terriers, greyhounds, and poodles are just three examples you've no doubt considered, and all three, like nearly all breeds, have breed-specific rescue groups.

These groups are dedicated to finding good, loving "forever homes" for dogs of their breed of choice.  While I can't vouch for every group out there, my family has had excellent luck with the National Greyhound Adoption Program, or NGAP.  Beta, our greyhound, is good-natured, well-behaved, and a full member of the family, not a mention a retired professional athlete (albeit not a very successful one).

Mutts are wonderful, and so many of them are intelligent and friendly.  However, if breed specificity is a requirement, and when it comes to allergies it can be, please consider a breed-specific rescue.  These animals need homes and love, which is just what you and your family are looking to give your new pet, and you would provide an excellent example to the American people.

Thank you very much for your consideration.

Sincerely,
Laura Grow

What do you think?  Should I send it?

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In which I get rid of books

I want a library. I want a room of my house to have huge shelves well-stocked with good books, comfy chairs, and appropriate lighting. Artwork and curios would be ideal, but not necessary. Maybe a station for my writing, although I'm probably better off having an office space with fewer distractions (ha, like I'll have the time and space to pull off both!).

I certainly have enough books to fill a library now. The problem is, I don't -- can't -- read them all. So over the next several months, I plan on sorting through the crates and boxes and shelves of books I own, and making four piles:

Favorites. Books I love, and will definitely re-read. Mary Doria Russell's The Sparrow. Anita Diamont's The Red Tent. Heck, Little Women, which I actually replaced when my old, battered copy finally died. I am always looking for new books to fill this category, and am willing to lend them to friends (at least, friends I trust to return them!).

Resources. Dictionaries. Style guides. Poetry prompts. Organization manuals. And other books, which may be more trivial or less wholesome. I may not read them out of love, but I'll refer to them out of necessity. And, yeah, sometimes fun. I'm a nerd like that.

To be evaluated. Books I haven't actually read yet, or never finished, or read too long ago to inform a decision. These will be read. If I can't read them, or don't like them after having finished, then they go on to...

Elimination. It'll be hard, but the books in the section have to go.

Now this raises a new question. What should I do to get rid of these books? I've got a couple options that will directly benefit me:

Sell them. A good option for textbooks (the nice thing about having been an English major is that most textbooks are fairly timeless). Novels, however, may not pull in more than a dollar or two. And where would I sell them? Is EBay really the best choice?

Swap them. This might be a better option for the novels and fluffier nonfiction. I can offer some books up on Paperback Swap, and get new books in return. My reading list is pretty long, after all. Then again, that doesn't really eliminate books so much as it rotates them.

Raffle them. I have a review blog. There are books I've read that I enjoyed, that I might even recommend, but that just don't make it to my "Favorites" or "Resources" piles. If I review one of these books, maybe I could then give it away as a promotional event. If it works, it could definitely draw in readership. If not, I'm out the cost of postage with nothing to show for it but an empty spot on my bookshelf.

What would you do?

The good

No question, I'm blessed to have such a love of reading and the means to amass such a collection.

In which I attempt to get fit

Image via WikipediaImage via WikipediaImage via WikipediaImage via WikipediaImage via Wikipedia

So Chris and I decided to do the One Hundred Push Up Project.

When we did our initial assessments, Chris managed to do 50 push ups in his trial.  He's right on the borderline of the Project being completely useless.

I did... 3.  Well, if I'm allowed to cheat and do knee push ups, I can do 12, but that's still pretty sad.  And Chris won't let me cheat... and since he's only doing it to keep me motivated (since he obviously doesn't need to), I guess I can't.

"That's not pathetic," he said.  "I'm just stronger than you."

"Well, sure... but 20 times stronger?"

"It's not 20 times."

"Fine.  Just under 20 times stronger."

"...Yes."

For the sake of accuracy, it's 16 2/3.

So I'm pretty sure this 6-week program is going to end up taking most of a year, and that's assuming I don't plateau out.  But either way, wish me luck, and I'll keep you posted.

The Good

I don't exercise nearly enough.  Even though Chris doesn't need to do this, I'm glad he is to encourage me.

Update

9/21/08

So I'm now legitimately up to 12 push ups as my max.  It's four times my original max, which is good.  It's not enough to pass the week 2 test, though, so I'm currently repeating week 2.  Sigh.

10/8/08

After a few false starts, I'm chugging along through week 3.  I can do 16 push ups in a row -- barely.

10/28/2008

Yeah, so I failed the post-week-4 endurance test, so I'm repeating week 4.

Also, Chris wants to use the formula to start doing sit ups on our "off" days.  Since we haven't been spectacular on our every-other-day routine, I'm not sure how this will work out, but we'll see.

1/10/2009

And once again, I fail, this time in the face of the post-week-5 test (yes, it took me that long to repeat week 4 and do week 5). I can do 45 in a row, so go me. I need to do 46 to go on to week 6. Bah.

In which I visit the Laundromat

Image via WikipediaAt first, the room looks blue.

 

The walls aren't blue.  They're white, with green tile trim.  The sporadically cracked tile on the floor isn't blue, either, but rather the pink-brown of fake sandstone.  A bright bank of gumball machines stands guard at the front door, and deep green potted plants and bright framed posters of flowers and line the walls.  But the heavy curtains blocking out the bright mid-afternoon sun are the same dirty-robin's-egg as the veneer of the washing machines, and the bluish shadows color the whole room.

 

The wall of blue is crenelated with alternating washing machines: double loader, triple loader.  The detergent wells do not all snap shut completely, so detergent bottles and watering cans sit on top of them, keeping sudsy water from escaping.  A tall potted plant sits on top of a washer.  Its upper branches splay against the mostly-white ceiling, which is marred by water stains, and bulges worryingly behind the ceiling fan.  A big-screen TV perched above the the machines, silent and dark, surveys the room.  Nearby, a scale stands under a yellow sign announcing, "Drop off service 1/2 LB to 10 LB Minimum $5."  a pile of neatly folded white blankets waits nearby on a wooden table, next to bulging duffel, laundry, and garbage bags.

 

 A matching table stands between banks of dryers.  It is surrounded by chairs: green and white metal folding chairs, and a white molded-plastic chair.  The tables are made of a yellow-brown wood that clashes with the dingy dryers and the pinkish floor tiles.

 

Near this table, laundry carts sit.  Black-brown rust peeks through their dingy, flaking paint.

 

Is dingy a color?  The dryers and carts might have been white once, or perhaps cream or pale yellow.  It's impossible to tell, though.  Now, they're just dingy, faded, aged.

 

A yellow sign reads:

We Are Not Responsible

Of Your Property

Watch Your Own

Property

 

In the back, fenced-off area, a sign warns, "No Admittance."  Behind the fence, garment bags hang from hangers on a rack, and laundry detergent -- $.50 a load -- lines a shelf.

 

At 3:00 the Laundromat is nearly empty, and the air is filled with the mixed scents of mildew and fabric softener.  By 4:00, a handful of customers sit, stare at their spinning clothes, and chat.  Sweet scents leak out of nearby bakeries and into the Laundromat.  Neighbors wander in an out, calling through the open door in English, Spanish, Yiddish.

 

The good

This was another assignment that I've never done anything with.  Not only am I pleased with the result, so was my professor.  This isn't quite the kind of thing you can pitch, though, is it? 

 

I hope you enjoyed it.