In which I don't argue

I've lately caught myself regularly declaring, "I'm not arguing with you." If you know me in real life, you may have heard me say this to you.

I've isolated three different ways I tend to say it, so I thought it might be nice to translate for you.

I'm not arguing with you. I'm just saying.

Usually, this comes up when you've made a particular point and I agree with it. I'll typically start my rebuttal with something like, "Well, I agree, but I can see their point," and proceed to play Devil's Advocate. This is usually quite interesting for both parties, but it does have the potential to get heated -- which it shouldn't, because a) you don't have to convince me, since we already agree, and b) I don't want to convince you, since we already agree. Therefore: I'm not arguing with you.

You know what? I'm not arguing with you.

We disagree about something trivial. I'm not going to convince you; you're convinced you're right. You're not going to convince me; I'm convinced I'm right. But in real life, it makes absolutely no difference who is right, so why, exactly, are we arguing? I'm not giving in, but if you choose to believe I am, that's fine. I'd rather stop this stupid fight than win it.

I'm not arguing with you. It was just an idea.

I suggested something. You responded, "Well, why would I want to do X?" I don't actually care that it was meant as a rhetorical question; I'll tell you why you might want to do X. But that doesn't mean you have to; I'm just answering your question, not trying to convince or strongarm you. Now that you've listened to my side of it, go ahead and say no. It's fine. It was just an idea, not an argument.

Is there a phrase you find yourself using? What, exactly do you mean by it?

Related articles by Zemanta

• How I Offended Former Australian Cricket Captain Allan Border... and Why that Makes me a Better Blogger Today (problogger.net)

In which I write personal ads.

Image by Getty Images via Daylife

Havi at The Fluent Self has a weekly ritual in which she posts personal ads for the things and people she wants and needs in her life. I love the idea, so I am heretofore going to rip her off.

Prolific communicator with endless opinions seeks same for pen-pal relationship. Let's keep the centuries-old tradition alive and count among the last great correspondents.

Topics unlimited. I am not easily offended, but be sure you are likewise and can take what you give. Sample topics might include books recently read, life lessons learned from daily tasks, updates on major milestones, progress towards goals, and explorations on topics not discussed in polite society.

Regular correspondence is a must, although "regular" may be defined as anything from a short note once a week to an encyclopedic missive twice a year. I tend toward the latter but am flexible. Ideally, holiday and birthday greetings would be included in the correspondence (but would not count toward the "twice a year missive").

The ideal candidate already has my home address, as I do not give it out online. I begin all replies immediately after receiving a letter; long responses will take longer to finish.

No dabblers, please. Apply by post; I have sent letters that have received no response, and would like to weed out such candidates.

Related articles by Zemanta

• The Art of Letter Writing: Stationery (artofmanliness.com)

Something completely different...

Image via Wikipedia

Well, the poll was fun, wasn't it? It completely broke from the original spirit of this blog, but... well, the point was to tell stories about my life to prove that my boring life is not, in fact, boring...

And I sort of ran out of stories. At least, I think I did. If you know of anything that fits the criteria that you think I should write about, let me know.

In the meantime, let's make sure life doesn't get boring. I've got some stuff in mind coming up that also breaks from the original spirit of the blog, but hopefully you'll enjoy it. And, as always, I am open to suggestions!

Related articles by Zemanta

• How to write a blog post people love (penelopetrunk.com)

You chose our wedding song!

Thank you for all your votes.

Billy Joel's "Just the Way You Are" won, if you were wondering. This is a good thing, as we were already practicing it with our dance instructor!

And not to worry if one of your favorites didn't make it. We're going to be forwarding some of these options to our band, so they may make an appearance as well.

Thanks again for playing. You were a HUGE help!